Hypocrites in love, by Stepahnie Shaakaa
yarkarkara
You kneel to propose but refuse to kneel in love. We have perfected the ceremony but abandoned the sacrifice.
A man who cannot bend his knees for love will one day break his marriage with pride.
See ehn, a ring without a knee is just pride shining on your finger.
See ehn, if you bring out a ring to propose marriage to someone’s daughter, you must kneel down. Yes, kneel. Stay on your knees until you finish. That is the oyibo way. If you do not want to kneel, then do not borrow their style. Propose the way your ancestors did. Stop this halfway hypocrisy.
Our generation is confused. We pick the flashy parts of culture but drop the humbling parts. We like the ring, the roses, the cameras, but when it comes to bending the knee, pride suddenly takes over. But hear me, love without humility is dangerous. If a man cannot kneel down for you when asking for your hand, how will he bend his ego when real storms hit the marriage?
Ladies, do not ignore the signs. That refusal to kneel is not just about posture, it is about pride. Pride starts small, in gestures, before it destroys homes. If he will not kneel to propose, do not expect him to kneel to apologize.
And this is not only about proposals. It is about how we live and love. If you want to follow oyibo ways, follow them fully. If you want to honor tradition, do it properly. But do not cherry-pick what feeds your ego and discard what humbles you. That is hypocrisy.
Because truth is, marriages do not break because people stop loving. They break because people stop bending.
If you bring out a ring to propose marriage, you must bend your knees. That is the rule, that is the ritual, that is the culture you are borrowing. To stand tall with the ring in your hand is to mock the very tradition you claim to honor. If you do not want to kneel, then do not copy the Western proposal in the first place. Do it the way your ancestors did, without ring, without knees, without pretence. But stop playing halfway.
Our generation has mastered the art of hypocrisy. We borrow cultures when they appeal to us, then discard the parts that demand humility or sacrifice. We take the shiny symbols, the ring, the Instagram-worthy proposal, but we throw away the kneeling that gives it weight. We want the romance without the ritual, the glam without the grounding. And in the end, we are neither here nor there, floating in confusion.
The act of kneeling is not trivial. It is not about knees touching the ground. It is about humility, reverence, surrender. It is about saying with your body what your words are promising, that you will love, honor, and respect the woman you are asking to share your life with. The ring without the kneel is an empty gesture, a hollow performance. To kneel is to acknowledge that love requires bending, that pride must be laid aside. If a man cannot bend at the beginning, what makes you think he will bend in the marriage?
Our ancestors did not kneel with rings, but they had their own rituals. They came with family, with gifts, with respect. They poured palm wine and sought the blessing of the bride’s kin. It was never casual, never careless. Every step carried meaning. Today, however, we want the convenience of mixing and matching. We laugh at tradition while mangling another. We claim sophistication, but it is nothing more than confusion dressed in English ways.
Young women must be discerning. A man who refuses to kneel while proposing is sending a message, whether he knows it or not. He is saying, I want the show without the substance. I want the ring without the reverence. Do not dismiss it as small. Marriage is built on attitudes, and the first sign of pride is often found in little things. If he will not bow his knees, will he bow his will? If he cannot bend for love, will he bend for peace? If he refuses a gesture of humility in public, will he cultivate humility in private?
The refusal to kneel is not about style, it is about spirit. It is not about Western versus African, it is about pride versus humility. Pride is the greatest enemy of love, and it often announces itself early. So ladies, when the ring appears but the knees remain stiff, pause. That moment is telling you more than words ever will.
If you borrow, borrow with respect. If you reject, reject with clarity. But stop pretending to belong to a culture you only halfway understand or halfway honor.If not, honor your own.
A confused generation is one that clings to borrowed rituals without respecting them, while sneering at its own traditions as if they were beneath it.
The refusal to kneel is not about knees, it is about pride. And pride is the enemy of love.
In the end, the question is simple. If a man cannot kneel for you when asking for your hand, will he kneel with you when life demands humility? If he cannot bow now, will he bend later? A ring without a kneel is a promise without posture, a gesture without depth. And love deserves better.
Because marriage is not about the glitter of the ring, but the humility of the heart. And humility is always willing to bend.
Because in the end, love is not about standing tall, it is about knowing when to bend low and only the humble can rise together.
And never forget, the knees that refuse to bend at the beginning will one day break the heart that believed in them.
Marriage is not a performance for cameras, it is a covenant of humility and humility always begins on the knees.
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